NIGHTMARES
So, I thought I was almost out of the worst. Almost 1 week had passed without a horrific nightmare, however, for the last two nights (since returning to University) they are back.
I took propranolol (a beta blocker) over christmas for a few weeks to try and numb the side effects. It really helped me and I was only on the lowest dose (10mg) 3-4 times a day. I started to feel as if I didn’t need them anymore and I stopped taking them. I lasted about a week and since yesterday I have had to go back on them. Propranolol do give nightmares as a side effect, which isn’t helpful, however, I find that taken no later than 5/6pm, there should be no issues.
After each nightmare, it takes a while to wake up and realise that, it’s not real. I will sit there for about 5 minutes just waiting for the terror to pass. I, like anyone else, has the odd bad dream now and again but nothing like this. I find it extremely important, especially after a nightmare, to remind myself of who I am as I seem to also be suffering at times with depersonalization. I constantly remind myself that this too shall pass, as everything will.
When suffering with the effects of an overactive thyroid, there is already issues with sleep. When it’s getting to midnight I become aware that I am usually fast asleep by this point, so, I assume it’s time for bed, although, I am not tired. I will lay in bed and feel tired, yet, my mind wont allow me to sleep as my mind will still be racing and on top of that I will be slightly fearful if I’m going to sleep well or not.
Each day is a new day and right now I am just trying to make the most of each one for what ever they are! These nightmares do however impact my enjoyment of the day ahead. Imagine having issues with racing thoughts and anxiety anyway, followed by nightmares, it’s extremely difficult to shake off the negative emotions attached. I am fighting this every day to not only save myself but to save others. No one should have to go through this at any age, it impacts a life terribly, so, let’s make sure we don’t let it!
whynot2014 